My Marriage is Stronger Than Ever Thanks to This Sunday Night Routine
My sister introduced me to the concept. “We have a weekly marriage meeting every Sunday night,” she shared. “Just to check in with each other and get on the same page.” Immediately intrigued, I asked her to send me her agenda and announced to my husband that our first official marriage meeting would be this Sunday—don’t be late. To my surprise, he raised his eyebrows in curious interest. “Sure. Sounds good,” he said.
That Sunday, we sat down at the dining table. I pulled up the questions, and we started talking. He was totally game, and the further we got into it, the more we realized what we’d been missing. We talk all the time, but this was different. There was intention behind it—a framework that guided us through meaningful conversations, from who was taking the kids to the dentist to why I felt completely overwhelmed by 5 p.m. every day. It was an antidote to my mental load.
Featured image from our interview with Claire Zinnecker.
There’s been plenty of discourse about whether a weekly couples meeting is just the “corporatization” of marriage. An administrative meeting with your partner? Could you be less sexy? I see that same skepticism in the eyes of friends in their early years of marriage when they ask me about healthy communication.
But in our case, our weekly meeting is anything but unsexy. If anything, it’s become one of our strongest relationship habits—consistently deepening our intimacy. It gives us a set time to look each other in the eye, listen fully, and be heard without distraction. Yes, we talk every day, but this sit-down creates space for everything from logistics to emotions without bringing down the vibe. It sets us up for a week where we’re aligned as partners, teammates, parents, and lovers. More than anything, it’s been the linchpin of our relationship—and, by extension, our family.
These meetings began to breathe life into our relationship and set us up for a week where we were on the same page logistically and emotionally.
Let’s be clear—having a weekly marriage meeting doesn’t mean we never argue or that our relationship is suddenly “perfect,” whatever that means. We’ve even skipped a few Sundays in favor of a Netflix binge, and that doesn’t mean we’ve failed. The point of the meeting is to strengthen our connection—and to recognize when it’s time to dive back in.
What Is a Marriage Meeting?
A marriage meeting is a regular, intentional time to pause and connect with your partner. It’s a chance to check in, encourage one another, and nurture a relationship that is healthy, romantic, and full of joy. And when your mental load feels overwhelming, this is how you create space for each other.
Intentionally noticing your partner’s actions throughout the week is the foundation of deeper connection—and romance.
Putting intention behind noticing your partner’s actions during the week is a breeding ground for romance.
The Benefits of a Weekly Marriage Meeting
I could write pages on why these meetings work, but let’s keep it simple:
- It deepens intimacy. Relationships evolve constantly, and there’s always something new to learn. Weekly check-ins create space for meaningful conversations—intellectual, emotional, spiritual, and physical. They also help manage logistics. Because if you have kids, you know how quickly a romantic date-night chat can turn into a discussion about soccer schedules and dentist appointments. The meeting gives those conversations a home, so they don’t take over every interaction.
- It helps prevent conflict. Regular meetings keep you aligned, set clear expectations for the week, and provide a space to discuss unresolved issues before they escalate.
- It keeps the romance alive. Consistent communication fights complacency and prevents “roommate syndrome.” These meetings aren’t just about logistics—they create opportunities for connection on every level.
How to Hold a Marriage Meeting
1. Schedule It Weekly
Pick a day and time, put it on the calendar, and stick to it. Make it a habit.
2. Choose a Comfortable Spot
Sit together on the couch or at the dining table—somewhere you can focus on each other.
3. Limit Distractions
Turn off notifications. If you have kids, schedule the meeting when they’re asleep.
4. Bring Your Tools
Have access to calendars or planning apps. Jot down notes if needed.
5. Keep It Short
A quick check-in makes it an easy habit to maintain. But full disclosure? My husband and I always say, “Let’s do this fast so we can watch Netflix,” and somehow, we end up talking way past 30 minutes. Sometimes because we need to. Sometimes because we want to. And sometimes… because we suddenly feel like skipping Netflix for other reasons.
Above all, this meeting should never feel like a chore. If it does, reframe it: This is what you vowed to do. It’s how you nurture your relationship. The key? Make it enjoyable and share the responsibility. While one partner may take the lead at first, over time, you’ll both look forward to this time together.
Marriage Meeting Questions + Agenda
Rather than sticking to a rigid script, I recommend selecting a few questions from the list below, along with a couple that might feel a little challenging. You never know which one might open a new door in your relationship.
I keep a running note on my phone with questions and discussion points. It’s a living document that shifts with the seasons of our relationship. Sometimes, I’ll jot down our answers—especially when we’re working toward a shared goal or supporting each other in personal or career growth. But most of the time, we simply open the floor and talk.
1. Start With Gratitude
Set the tone with appreciation. Gratitude is powerful—especially when directed toward your partner.
Take turns sharing specific things you appreciated from the past week. A few examples:
- Thanks for making the kids’ lunches at night—it made our mornings so much smoother.
- I really appreciated you handling that bill when I was stressed.
- It was so sweet of you to pick up my favorite drink on your way home.
Bonus: When you focus on what your partner does rather than what they don’t do, it naturally creates more connection and affection. And when you feel appreciated, you’re more likely to show up for each other in meaningful ways.
Give a compliment, too—especially a physical one. “Your bedhead was ridiculously cute this morning,” or “The way you wore that dress…” Science backs this up: the more you intentionally notice and appreciate your partner, the more attractive they become.
2. Talk Logistics
Now that you’re feeling connected, move on to the practical stuff. But keep it brief—otherwise, logistics can take over.
- What’s on your schedule this week? Compare calendars. Flag appointments, school activities, or anything that needs planning.
- Who’s handling what? Divide tasks like school pickups, household chores, or errands.
- What are your top work priorities? This gives insight into each other’s week and sets expectations.
- How are we doing financially? A quick check-in on money goals, spending, or upcoming expenses.
If a topic sparks conflict, table it for a separate conversation.
3. Plan Ahead
Building a life together should be fun. And life is always more fun when you have happy things to look forward to. It’s easy to talk about it, so here is where you dig into the doing. Use this time to intentionally build fun and play into your life.
- Schedule date nights. Do you have a standing date night? Put it on the calendar. If you have kids, schedule solo time with them, too.
- Plan personal rest days. My husband and I each take a quarterly rest day—guilt-free. It’s a chance to recharge and do whatever we want solo. If the idea of taking four days a year for yourself feels impossible, it’s worth asking why.
- Plan fun things together. Family outings, vacations, time with friends—make sure these moments don’t get lost in the shuffle.
4. Address Challenges and Connect
This is your space to check in on deeper topics. Start small and build trust over time—think of it like a muscle that strengthens with practice.
- Any unresolved conflict? Approach this as a team, with a problem-solving mindset.
- Check in on parenting. Any challenges or behavior issues with your kids? How can you support each other in parenting?
- Spiritual check-in. This can mean many things—is God speaking to you this week? Have you had any revelations through journaling? Just let it open the door for conversation.
- How can I support (or serve or encourage) you this week? A simple but powerful question that builds a foundation of partnership.
- Check in on your sex life. Being mindful about intimacy in a structured setting removes awkwardness and ensures the conversation happens regularly. You might be surprised by what your partner shares.
Closing the Meeting
End on a meaningful note. Maybe you:
- Make a promise to each other for the week.
- Set a shared intention.
- Say a prayer together.
- Answer a lighthearted or intimate question.
And finally—show some affection. Have you heard about the benefits of a 20-second hug? Research shows that holding each other for 20 seconds releases oxytocin (aka the “cuddle hormone”) and reduces stress. Try it—you’ll literally feel your body relax. You could also high-five. Or kiss. Or… well, you get the idea. Whichever way you close out your meeting, make sure it ends with a connection. You’ll be glad you did.
The Power of a Weekly Couples Meeting
At its core, a marriage meeting is about prioritizing each other—creating space for connection, communication, and intentionality in your relationship. It’s not about achieving perfection or eliminating conflict, but rather building a strong foundation where both partners feel seen, supported, and aligned.
Through these weekly check-ins, you create a rhythm of appreciation, shared responsibility, and deeper intimacy. From expressing gratitude to planning for the week ahead, these meetings ensure that the small, everyday moments don’t get lost in the shuffle. And while they may start as a structured practice, over time, they become second nature—something you both look forward to as a way to stay connected amidst the busyness of life.
So whether you start with a few simple questions or dive in with a full agenda, the key is consistency. Treat this time as a gift to your relationship—one that not only strengthens your partnership but also enriches your family and the life you’re building together.
This post was last updated on March 6, 2025 to include new insights.